Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Some thoughts on the LOST season premiere. . .

1.) That Juliet is such a great practical joker! When I die, I am going to wait until the last minute, then pull my family members close to me and tell them "I have to tell you something! It's REALLY REALLY REALLY important. . ." and then die right then. Man I'll be chuckling all the way to oblivion!  

2.) I know that guy is a U.S. Marshall and all so he's rough and tough. . . but still. . . don't pick stuff up off the floor of the airport bathroom. That's just gross. Even Kate knew not to do that!  

3.) So, let me get this straight. The leader of the temple Others can speak English just fine, but chooses not to and instead has his version of Mr. Smithers on hand to repeat every dang thing he says. What kind of a total jerk of a leader has the ability to speak English, and yet, during an emergency (like oh, say, a murderous smoke monster on its way to kill everybody) STILL shouts out his defense orders in another language while his English-speaking subordinates have to wait for Smithers to repeat it? No wonder the Others lost that war in Yugoslavia.  

4.) Can anyone explain to me why a hydrogen bomb would have enough energy to disintegrate an entire island, and all the land beneath the island down 100+ feet below the ocean surface. . . and still not be able to damage that foot statue? What is that thing made of, anyway? (Also, was that the Dharma shark down there?)  

5.) Apparently, the most secure way to send someone a message is to write it down on a paper note, roll it up, then build a giant wooden egyptian ankh around it. Slap that puppy in a guitar case, and it's good to go! Jacob clearly never went to junior high school. Can you imagine him trying to pass a secret note in class? Teacher: "Jacob! are you passing a note?!" Jacob: (holding a giant wooden ankh behind his back) "No. . .".  

6.) It's nice to know that the enigmatic rules of time-travel and parallel-universe-hopping at least take convenience into account. Jack et al. time-jumped when the H-bomb went off because it would have changed their histories. But what a pain it would have been if that Volkswagon bus hadn't time-jumped with them!  

7.) Oh, Charlie. How dumb are you? I've never taken heroin in my life, but even I know you're not supposed to try to inhale it until AFTER you take it out of the plastic baggie. I thought the way you died in the underwater station was dumb (with the door you could have opened OUT into the non-water-filled moon pool room), but this death would have been even dumber. Headline: "ex-Rockstar dies in airplane lavatory somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. Choked on plastic baggie full of heroin." . . . come to think of it, that's actually kind of awesome.

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